my world

{Pattington Bear} table runner"! 12 by 12 2 in half inch squares Christmas tree with buttons! 4of July table runner A new start with a heart like mine! Act it out Adult congestive heart failure AirPlains Quilt AirPlains Quilt 66 by 66 available AirPlains Quilt small throw All my stars table runner All my stars table runner in the making and chicks oh my baby quilt!" Anniversary flowers Baby giraffes Quilt baby zoo annimals such a soft baby quilt with tie not's i added back to the Croods Basket Ball Fun Bits & Pieces Large Throw! box Step Pattern Large Throw 2013-2014 Breakfast sausage hash browns and scrambled eggs and melted cheese on top Bridal Shower pics Bridal Shower Time Bronco fervor Cardiac cath Carrie Comfort Quits Carries Comfort Quiilts Carries Comfort Quilts Carries Comfort Quits CarriesComfort Quilts Carving pumpkins time 2014 Cats and zebra Quilt twin size Celebration Christmas 2015 Christmas Charlie Brown! Christmas season don't forget the real reason close up baby kittns baby Quilt Colorado Rockies night Crib size Flying gueese pattern snoopy and wood stalk forever for ever Croods video clip must watch listen care fully to there message!" Denver mart Quilt Show Don't be over cooked pasta Down town adventures dress Rehursal Night Facts about Noah film Fear Is Leaving! Feeling Broken Nov 2013 back in the hospital with Kidney failure" Fiancé side of our love story Fun treasures. Garden town home ideas for our place:) Gods waiting room Got to meet everyone on Robs side of the family 1/7/14 gotta love Tinkerbell!" Happy holidays Happy song Harvest Party 2013 Heart Like mine part 2 Hello kitty quilt Home sweet Home I googled what the doctors next plan for me!! feeling not affraid." I must confess I said yes to my dress I want to grow my poem I'll take it any day If u had the time or money or both Im A survivor! Inspirational quotes John deer quilt in the making Jumping Frogs Rail Fence Quilt! large Throw Slide show pattern fabrics show case is Ballerina dancers! LeMoyne Star Lions and tigers & Monkeys omy! Lions Tigers super Heroes Mandisa - Over Comer Me and My Sister Design Pattern easy 6 Meen while snowy Colorado Moms #5 charity Quilt Moms 8 Charity Quilt Moms first charity Quilt 2014 My business items I ordered. Can't wait to have them My etsy store My Faith Wall My first appliqué thanks giving table runner my First fringe quilt appliqua' hearts"! My girls FCC My Graduation T Shirt Quilt! My head is killing me My heart procedure My New Start! My testimony 2009! nap time Quilt boy or a girl thomas the Train! Nap time Quilt Tweety ! for a boy or a girl ! nap Time Quilt UnderCunstruction Trucks and cars! Nap time sports balls quilt for a boy or a girl! Neoplotian Baby Quilt New year 2015 New Years 1/1/14 Noahs baby annimals On my way our engagement photos! 2013 last Feb 14! Our first wedding anniversary Our friends baby shower time. Our wedding Day Our wedding video Peanuts on Ice Skates Small Throw! for a boy or a girl! Piano covers are complete Pillowcases " Poem "You Hold My Heart" Poem "Missing Nicole" Poem "let Him hold you" Poem "When I need you the most" Poem Girl U know he will Poem God Holds the tears when we can not cry" Quilters Travel Reba McEntire words Relient k I celebrate the Day my fave Christmas song!" it will melt your heart 2! Rob & I our Fall Pics Oct 20 /2013 Rocky Mountain Quilt Museum Sandras Holiday tablescape Sew and tell day Sew and tell group Sew and tell time Sew for Haiti Sewing for Haiti Skit Guys Baggage Video! small throw Happy Squares ! So close but so Far so let it grow! Jan 12/14 soft flannel baby quilt of tiny roses!" soft sheeps turtles Sometimes we have the Crood's issue Spring table runner Star Wars Quilt Stay Connected ! Striped Quilt Large Through girlsscout cookies and jelly beans candy chocolate kind of a quilt !! Sunflower table runner Sweet Nudge Thanks giving moments 2015 The beginning of piano covers The bride side of the story " The heart disease I was born with The message The shock of my life there are speed bumps and pot holes" this pattern small throw and i made it along the way with out a pattern! Tinker Bell Pannell Tinker Bell Quilt Twin size baseball quilt U never know Valentine project 2/14/14 Valentine weekend Video count on me Video of Beth Moore "fight worth fighting for" Video piano guys Video tenth ave north Video were feet may fall Vidio Casting Crowns Some Where in the Middle." Waiting for his results Weather the storm Wedding memories Wedding praise report What are you thankful for Winny the pooh classics & Friends Qween size my first Qween I ever made maybe not the last!! Winter mug rug Women if Faith Time

Heart Like Mine"

         5 months ago my heart was getting really week and my left side not working to well the doctors were telling me my left side was week very week . 32%:( the doctors I have are wonderful they are very smart and he knows all my med's by heart and how much i take . 
he also has three offices at Colorado University hospital and he also works at Children's with kids who have heart patients.

Lately I have been feeling dizzy and drowsy i just wanted to sleep and sleep and even if I get up slowly I still felt that dizziness.
I was was not motivated to do anything and i just couldn't bring back any atheism what so ever! so i just wanted to sleep. So I rarely drank liquids and ate .  Sometimes when your that sick u just can't.

Nov 7 I was in the bathroom one minute I just fell hit my head on the bath tub and corner of the wall and the dustpan that was lying there yes the dust pan broke my fall lol. Mom heard me scream and came rushing in! We were both scared!

So I fell hit my head on the wall so I'm so great full there was nothing more./ blacked out it took me a few minutes to wake up.  

Mom called my nurse and rushed me into Er and since I'm a heart patient they got me in so fast!!! 
I had to do EKG, ex ray , blood test
and two hours they brought  me to my own room.!  i had such a beautiful view! it was awesome. That part of it all. lol

  • I didn't want to head to the Er knowing i was going to stay for a few days & i was right
  • 4 days & 3 Nights.
The First results came back saying it was leading to kidneys i was having kidney failure! I didn't even realize or new any of the signs, the set me up with 4 bags of Selene fluids my kidneys were shriveling up so bad the meds i had were drying them out and that's were my dizzy spells and blacked out came from!
I was relived it wasn't my heart Dr Kay says we are still checking in on that area.
I had many people praying for me I was so blessed by that i was so nervous it was about my heart that the doctors would say ok miss Carrie we need to rush you into surgery!
that never did happen what happen was my doctor Kay said your heart is imaproving but we wont know by how much until later! but now all these Medicines all were too much for my body and that's why it was making me have kidney failure ! but 5 months ago my heart needed all those Medications! so that was a hint to me that my heart is improving from 32% and what ever the results may be now! by the way still waiting i will now after thanksgiving. :) 
so all it was my kidneys got hydrated and i was able to leave the hospital after 3 days! i was so relived so was mom! :)
mom was there for me every morning till  evening and she read to me of the book were reading together.
My last night there at the Hospital my father in law surprised me came to visit me! and stayed for a few hours and it was so good to see him come into my room. 
he got us laughing and talking and my nurse came into to check on me, and my nurse over heard our talk how God took away my father in laws cancer after all his radiations he had went through my nurse said out loud "I'm a believer in Christ too I am also a Cancer survivor ! "
So while she was helping me get out of the bed /bathroom she told me she is a Christian also and her family and her few months ago went to Israel and walked were Jesus walked and it was so amazing when they heard sermons of Jesus teaching were they were standing on those grounds it was incredible! 

I told her what happened to me 2009 when I had my pacemaker defibulater surgery. i was in pain and my arms were st raped together as i woke in my room i was in so much pain i had to reach the nurse button but i couldn't because my arms were together so i couldn't break any of the stitches. 
so I lade there crying frustration built in me and pain and i had to use the  bathroom well i prayed to God with all my heart and in a very quit room I heard Jesus voice loud in clear in my heart....
I said to my Nurse Megan what He had told 
me!  "my child i am hear by your side and holding your hands i will never leave you i am hear by your side. my child don't look away'
I told Meg my Nurse and those were the song that the Christian band just came out with anat that time 2009 and those are the words Jesus told me and then ten minutes later my blood presure went really down fast,  then one of the nurses happen to see it and came rushing in to help me to get comfy and pain reliefe and bathroom time! 
my nurse says wow that gives me chills and awesome testomy ! i said " i know i feel Gods peace since ive been back in hear in the hospital i never had one single panic attack. 
i felt comfort when people say there praying God uses prayer to reach the one there praying for!!!!
always remember that never give up praying.
I knew that was the Lord making my blood presure go down so i can get pain relief !!!
i will never for get the words i heard in my heart that day!! that was in 2009!

So my friends & familiy came to be with mr at all times  it was such a blessing!l

            To my surprise all of them showed up!!! The ones who could! And the oncevwhobdidjtvcalledvon mevavfew times and these close friends wanted to bring the game night to me at the hospital !!!? I was just getting tired and then I heard them all comming from down the hall into my room !

                    The leaders of game night brought a few games and we all went to the guest area were we had chairs and tables to sit and a wonderful view ! that is me in the wheel chair holding on to my bear that my fiance' surprised me with our first christmas"

These men in the group are my brothers in Christ all of them we pray together and laugh / cry in our group it's a joy to have this group! 

It's been a week and two days since I've been home from the hospital and feeling much better this was all out of my hands am now that my heart improved I won't know how my much until the Monday before thanksgiving! 
I had went in there for them to draw lab work and last tues my kidneys are back to good and the lower dosage on meds does me wonders!

 I can get so much done without feeling dizzy / drowsy ! I'm praising God with all my heart that he really is taking care of the insides of me hat no one Ell's sees!
Jesus will do the same for you as well.

My fave Quote

wed jan 8 2013

So this is what a Real Relationship Feels like!!!!

Ever since the day we reunited & Purposed on Thanks Giving he and i have been inseparable like 2 peas in a pod.  Someone once told me that if its true love how u know its real is when they don't want to leave your side and miss another day with out you and they make it there best to make it work not that we had to make ours work it just fell naturally like domino's on a track.   Rob has a huge family mine is somewhat huge growing in time with our cousins getting married and moving on having children.  

It's so nice to be able to my self and to have someone that God provided  that i don't have to feel stressed and worried and totally be unequal with.  I think that being unequal is a small sign of mentally abuse because from knowing my ex and how was was unequal was a big thing for me, so it was and did got really really worse off that's how it started with my ex.

So I am just amazed when i surrendered all my worries and concerns from my ex to the God that he had restored my life with bringing me my new best friend to marry to grow old with and to have lots of fun /laughter/adventures of course there will be pain sorrow but God says in Genesis's I will make a suitable helper he didn't say that to Adam I will make you a perfect God said Suitable  helper for you.  

So I have learned and grown so much by leaving an emotional mentally abusive man my ex I'm so grateful it wasn't physical but he had temper as well. With other things & still scared me So it took me courage to leave Gods courage helped me, and i was so troubled and scared i didn't know were to turn to so i didn't want to bore my friends of my usual troubles and i was covering it up making my husband at the time look good when he wasn't he was always helpful for everyone ells and loved everyone ells but not i at the time, so i had to be brave and tell my paster in a meeting of everything that's going on and what i c.  So Paster had called him in on a meeting with the Deccan's and the Mistress and that Mistress was someone from my church who no longer goes there and she only went had her kids in kids classes, and she was in ours & her husband never came because was always working and out of town.  

I had to get help. if u are struggling in a similar situation surrender to God and give him your concerns and trials and he is big enough to help you.  it was embracing and hard for me to ask help i wanted my first marriage to  last and be good one, and i just couldn't go on any more!! I was tired of being lied to and walked on and it was very hard on my heart since i was already been ill will stress, from him and it brought me so bad down to the Er a few times, stress does things to your heart and physical body it really can take over you and drown you if u don't ask for help .
Mom has always been there for me through thick and thin as a mom should be, and i was afraid to let her know what Ive been struggling with with my ex at the time.  So I was brave and something happens that weekend after the past er called my ex in and the Mistress and the Mistress husband,  
I was somewhat relieved and yet he was still talking with her and seeing her around town and having dinner and doing things when her husband was away with her... so i said one time as i came home who he was chatting with and i caught him in so many lies with other woman before her, this one was the hardest i couldn't place my thought on why and then it hit me like a two by four its because i know this woman and she was supposedly my friend at the time who i thought i liked being with and going on walks with and sharing my thoughts about my husband with since she was married. 

So well Wrong that's why i was so so so struggling with my ex saying nothing has happens twice and we will always be close friends and i  need to stop being so jealous of her.  Well even more he was not respecting me as a husband should and the trust was really gone, was just fuming inside my souled and mind, while my mom was home, we had all lived with her he and i he was laid off his job, as i remember.  

I re me,Ber he was saying to me "Carrie" I'm moving getting out your your moms" I said "pH really?? we never talked about it and were i haven't seen our new place yet." that's what i had said so i was really confused and dumbfounded and heartbroken he was staring at the computer in our room at moms place and he barley looked at me and said "you can come too if u want" 
i thought what!!! is this man saying to me i was taken by surprised and hurt felt so small i wanted to scream at him, instead i just started, and i said of course i am were married ill come with u, why did he ask me! So just then his daughter came home and was in one of her moods, i don't know what happened, and this is all after the past er had a meeting with my ex and the Mistress, and her husband, so i thought things were stealing down after that meeting.  God gave me a rush of peace and i felt Jesus standing there holding my hand giving me incredible comfort i said "Dan Its Over"  i blurted it out and i said loud and Clear "I want a divorce I'm tired of being unequal and last on your list, and your unfaithfulness i have giving you many chances and clearly you told me you re done too so i want a divorce.  
I felt a rush of calmness inside of me i felt dizzy i had to go out to the living room and jumped on the computer and watching TV while mom was there asking me questions about
what happens, so i said Dan and the kids took off, and he would come back for his things the next few days.
I felt so shaken up and shaky i had to sit my hands were shaky and we had both of us telling them to leave our house exceptionally that night.  I felt a calm of peacefulness that only came from God, that he gave me those words loud and clear, that I had had it! i was Finished...

So it has been several years since then & God has restored my life & with his Hope to calm my fear
2 Timothy 1:7

it has been a emotional roller coaster ride and i had to find myself again with Gods confidence and provision he had provided me with a bunch of new wonderful friends at game night and getting into a part time job called MOPS mothers of pree school!  i have done that for 7 years and i enjoy it because its not so overwhelming with hours and its every other week one day in the mornings. 
it has been such a blessing and i started working at mops with my home church Fellowship Community Church, and when they needed less teachers they had less kids at the time God provided me a another wonderful Mops program @ Colorado Community Church"  
This has been my second year.  I actually start work this coming Friday morning i will be in my fave age group class which would be the challenging two year old!" 
I also have learned what i like and accept the things i can't change and to accept what i can, the wisdom prayer.
I have been in many small group studies and focus my eyes on God himself as he gave me the courage that one crazy night.   I felt peaceful and i never regret it since God gave me those words.  
I have been involved in lots of sewing classes and sewing projects God has blessed me with positive people surrounding me, and from the ladies in my small group and the ladies in my Quilting groups.
God has blessed me restores my life with Bringing the man suitable for me, Robert Allen Barker.

These words above i love so much. Friends if you are in a marriage or relationship similar to the one i was in you think there is no way out there really is. God Restores you when u surrender.  He will make a way out when u feel you are trapped he doesn't want to leave you there he wants to help you through, he wants your relationship your love to to turn  back towards Him.  
I know i know at times you don't want to hear these words when u are actually there too, you and me were at the blaming God stage friends Gods Love Mercy Grace is so strong and powerful its amazing u have too let go your self for him to guide u through, he wont take away he will walk you through he says My Peace I give you not as the World Gives.  
let me give u a small revelation i had the other morning. I was playing my all time favorite game PAC man on my phone, yes i luv PAC man, remember the little ghost chasing after u as the PAC man,
that's house the past seems to me we are being chased after us in our dreams and every where we turn once we feel like the gist in PAC man tries to corner us and we try and sike him out one of them brakes away! and were free! we are not trapped any more, That's how God has shown me that when i felt like my ex and lies betrayal would go on and on and see no light there was light, Jesus did made a way for me, and he can really do the same for u friends its up to you....
because hear is a saying if you don't like the situation you are in change it!"  its so true with our walk with God personal walk, we have to let go of the blame and surrender and to stop the nit picking attitude trust me Ive been there that's why i am saying this out loud. 

Romans 8:28 all things work for good those who love Him, 

I know gods plans doesn't make since trust me I've yelled at God many times I'm guilty of that too! 
but were not suppose to be perfect we don't have to live under the law just live under Gods Grace.  
because it is and feels so Refreshing.
memories come back to haunt us because that's just the world we live in those memories are not to torture us just to help us grow in faith and in our character and that others will be going through the same thing you are ..."

Feeling Super Fear is Leaving!!

Yesterday was a hard long day 

at the  hospital just for one 

little poke in the in and out 


feeling super

My labs for my kidneys shows it 

better !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

They I look good an they say no 

valve  surgery because so 

risky! They will 

be talking about the next plan 

in 3 

months when I do the tread 

mill test 

& Echo!!! I'm really happy with my 


my main doctor Cardiology Dr K 

says we got to do something soon so I 

can feel better stronger/ and more 

energy!" That's what i want believe 

me!!  My Friends my blog if u

haven't noticed its about my passion 

Quilting and a Hear Like mine!" 

Dear readers this is also a journal of

of my health history so  if anyone of 

comes to my blog read my world 

about me i pray that if they have 

children with allot of health 


like i have  that i pray God will 

use me 

to motivate there hope in the ever 

lasting arms, because that's how i was 

able to go through trials day to day!" 

 other wise i never want to get out of 

bed and just feel sorry for my self. 

 Nope that's not me, i always bounce 

back I  don't let any one hold me 
down <3"


my nurse notes i keep a journal from 

now on when i go to my 


its so much easier to see how far i 

was able to get better! 

My nurse notes says

1.) your labs are much better up to

 80% since the last labs on 11/25!/03"

2.) new Plan is No Medicines changes thank u Lord!

3.)they want me back in in 3 Months 

to do a vo2 treadmill test & Echo

 with my nurse or to see Doctor Kay 

4.) considering those results 

they might  consider  scedual  

 another cardiac cath to see if we can

improve my Pulmonary blood



 each time i may need to have

 something done God always has 

something ells in store for me, but if i 

really do have to have the 


blood flow the cardiac Cathe I'm 


for it that would be an in out 


presured my fave

doctor Kay 

can do this i will feel even 

more less 

nervous and less fear....  :))



well i had another wonderful week with my fiance' being home again from work.  if you can keep in your prayers for his company where he works at is oppening up another job office oil field work company in Chyanne!!! this really has to be a God thing because he can't ask to go and he can't beg to go because other workers have done the same and they let them go because they were winning to to go to 
the new office!!! Can u believe they are so strict and serious which i can imagine, but if we are motivited to pray pray pray for my fiance' job i know God will provide and continue to bless his honest work,  and the way the government shut down on most people have lost there jobs my heart goes out to them, as well.  

God gives us as believers responsibility to pray for our leaders & continue to pray. I am at fault of not doing that my self we get so wrapped up in our own lives with family members friends co workers our jobs! in some ways i miss working allot full time, i miss having my own class room and staying at a job 8 hours a day.  

I had to let go let God when i couldn't work anymore 2009 doctors saying i had to be on disability and not to over due my self and work my way back in to the hospital as i done before,!:( that was the most horrible experiance i have ever went through, i remember so well i was was depressed for the first few years i had to create my life all over again and that was very hard to do so i let go Let God re create my own life, and routine, I miss having a routine. and having a place to be at certain times! 
God has used other people and friends/family input advice in my life to help me get going, that's how i started to quilt!!! they say just try different hobbies and classes and get a feel the way i would love to work on things with my hands.  
So Quilting I got hooked on and I was amazed:)! I started learning from my mom and we enjoy our time together and yes as an adult we still have  our mother daughter moments overall its very good working together and living together helping each other out!!!

I started taking tuns of classes meeting new people/ friends and just starting to enjoy life again feeling more and more healthy and adding new things to my world!!!! 
don't worry i have a point to my rambling on moments. 
so my fience' boss took chunk of money out and was getting big bonuses for him self since the holidays are coming around the corner. I have learned not just his company but most companies do and start laying off right around the holidays.  Which is heart breaking. why would leaders/bosses do that just so they can have more bonuses for there family?? i just don't understand.  
Just one of those things that i have to continue to trust God's will for my life and ours as things like that comes our ways.
just another speed bump in the road.! :( but helps us to grow closer in our walk with God each day!!!!

So my fiance and mother in law we watch the crood's the other night! it was SO good and there is a lot of truths out of that Disney movie that i never noticed before the first time saw!! to make a story short they were cavemen family, they didn't have materialistic things like we do today, and they had to provide to stay alive and to travel and go to a place were there is food, i wont say the ending its such a heart warming story that you must buy or rent the dvd buy if u see it for $5 dollar DVDs that's the only time i buy movies...! 
so the dad in this family is afraid of the light and keeps his family in the cave there so use to the darkness that they are so fearful of the light. Eave the girl /daughter is desperate for the light, she is desperate for a change, she is desperate to be different she is willing to stand out and even if she disobeys her dad.  

so the father of eave keeps saying to the family do not be afraid!! i will protect you if u listen to my boundaries and instructions! Do not be Afraid of the journey.... he keeps telling his family if u just fallow me and trust me i will get us there safely!!!" (it was a love relationship that he was longing for) just as God as our heavenly father longs for our relationship with him, he longs for us to trust him and to not to be afraid of the journey in life he gives us each one of us,   

2 be continue...."
so i just wanted to share i had have a major speed bump in my world i know its not a big deal to the crises we have in this world but a week and half ago i did something to my knee i couldn't go anywhere or do any sewing my pain was a throbbing 5 or 7 on the scale. yes i had to baby my knee and take care of it as often as it would hurt and take it easy. I think i slept on it funny or got out of bed the wrong way but buy the grace of God its so much better day two no pain and walking a little easier!!!!!! my ib pro fin and heating pad was my best friend the last week and half, i was so upset with myself i wanted to jump into my piano lessons again and continue on with my quilting projects!!!! i was so frustrated, God had to teach me to slow down and He surly did!"
so as i remember the movie the croods which is now my all time fave the more i thought of it the more God revealed himself to me through some verses that i want to share i hope u don't mind if i do...."


Matthew 5: 13
Jesus says let me tell you why u are hear. you're to be salt seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. if u loose your saltiness how will people taste godliness you lost your use fullness"  
someone once explained that when we cook with food for those salt lovers we use salt in our cooking especially BBQ if u don't have salt its tasteless and others will not care for what u have cooked as much!!! usually when i boil spaghetti i sprinkle some salt in the water and close the lid and it starts boiling faster. (salt is being useful!)
you are to be light bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept! were going public with this as a city on a hill if i make light -barriers don't think I'm going to hide it under a bucket I'm putting u on a light stand! now that i put u on the hill top on a light stand shine always keep open house be generous with your lives by opening up to others! you'll prompt people to look close walk with heavenly father"
wow there is some encouraging words from Jesus right there, God saying what we go through is a light to show others we rely on God himself in our lives today!!!!"
going back to the movies the crood the father in the movie keeps his family in the dark and is afraid of the light.
so Job 24-13-17
then there are those who avoid the light at all costs who scorn the light filled path when the sun goes down the murder is up kills the poor and robs the defenseless burglars do there work at night but will keep well out of sight through the day" 
 God gives us some encouraging words already in this dark world that has lots of speed bumps and pot holes and we need to show others not to be afraid of the light and to keep your light lamps on high.
My Fiance' works in a oil field with crude men and all about talking trash being unfaithful to there wives and going out to the bars while there not working,going to bards and drinking. 
when my fiance and i are home together in our quiet time my prayer for him that he may be the light on the hill for those men. That he  is different because of his joy walk with God and faith that Rob has.  We always have our prayer time together more then once which is so refreshing.  My ex did care to have prayer time or to walk often about God, and   he wasn't full grounded in his walk! I haven't not seen many fruits when it came to my ex.  
we don't need to be afraid of the light and be different because god will reward our lives at the end.  some times pot holes helps us focus on the blessings in life when its hard to wait for our plans to come together,  
Jer 19:11 for i know the plans i have for u declares the lord plans to keep u prosper and safe and not to harm u"
Romans 8:28 all things work together for the glory of God for those that love Him"
if u haven't seen the movie the croods its worth buying it ! and think about the message the movie shares its a great family Disney movie and worth buying it.  its great teaching your family not to be afraid of the light and going on this journey life that God provides along the way until he calls us home or comes to get us:))